Ek Tha Cinema!

Ek Tha Cinema
K J Kartik


No. I haven't seen Ek Tha Tiger, but it doesn't stop me from believing in my gut which says it will , at best, be a mediocre film, full of unbelievable stunts that the can-be-christened-rajnikant-of-bollywood Salman Khan has done with a cockiness and expression that can put even Mr Bean to shame. But how does it matter. Just like it doesn't matter what the critics have to say, to determine if the film should work or not.

I cannot pin point when this started to happen - when did it stop mattering whether or not, the film is good, for it to succeed. It makes me, well, jealous!

Believing in the old and almost childish school of thought of meritocracy, I have lived to believe that he who deserves, gets success. That one must excel, to be rewarded. That content matters. These recent spate of so called "100 crore club" films have me wondering, if that really means anything.

RA.ONE, declared unanimously as a flop by all critics, still holds records of highest single day grossing. A barrage of Salman films - bodygaurd, wanted (to name of few) - make me squirm in disbelief on the fact that these are commercial successes. While intelligent films like Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster and Shor in the city, bite the dust. Why, even Chalo Dilli, was a better film than these mega-grossers. In recent years, the film that could get a cult status for its take on bachelor life - Pyaar ka Punchnama - is probably seen as a failure.

"These are brainless entertainers", I have heard many proclaim. It makes me wonder about the mental health of Indian audiences (me included). Has India, the melting pot of IT and ITES, made work-life so stressful, that we long for a weekend of Brainless entertainment. I say this with confidence, because I saw Rowdy Rathore and enjoyed it. I saw it TWICE - but it was in a week that I can describe as the most stressful week of my career so far!.. Thats what made me try and draw this macro megatrend - more stress in the audience, the more the likelihood of brainless movies raking the mullah. I also distinctly remember Kaminey being shunned by many a audiences for being "needlessly over intelligent".

Sheer starpower is enough to make movies work. If there is Salman, it is a 100 crore blockbuster. If there is Shahrukh, it will get there with above-below-over-the-line-over-markerting. If there is Aamir, at least he will dole out some worthy content, but he is sure to get an opening comparable to the other two. Akshay and Saif are still children of the lesser god - their movie collections still depend (however marginally) on their content.

And the worst is the bandwagon of self proclaimed superhits - read all of Sajid Khans films - each competing to be more brainless than the previous one. Yet that wont stop the anchor-turned director from establishing how his movie is the 10th most or 7th most or 2923245th most successful film of all times. Subtle, no?

In all this, I have learnt the euphimistic phrase that they now use for good cinema - multiplex movie. Meaning - show it on a small screen for just 1 or 2 shows per day, it will find a steady audience. Example: Do Duni chaar, PKP, Gulaal, GoW, and so on.. The combination of a commerical success and good content are few and far between - the latest being Kahaani - and thats at least 8 months old now. Do I foresee anymore in the recent future? Nope.

I have high hopes of English Vinglish, whose trailer promises to be a feel good heartwarming story with an actress who doles acting that we havent seen on celluloid for ages - but at best, it will be a "multiplex" movie. From its trailer, Heroine, seems to have content, but one that we have seen before - from the same director - over and over again. It looks like a new cast, a new theme, but in the same template. And then there is the Yash Chopra romance. I have really high hopes of it, but it has Shahrukh Khan - he has made me believe in the recent past that he is a better marketer than an actor, and the more he markets his films the worse they are. I hope Yash Chopra - the legend who has given us such unforgettable movies as Silsila, Kabhi Kabhi, Deewar, Lamhe - manages to make a film as good as Dil toh Pagal hai or Chandni and not a star spectacle that his last film Veer Zaara was.

But there is no speculating the box office fate of Khan-starrers. They will be hits. Their fans (and they themselves) will argue that they have earned this status. That their bank-ability is merely the output of years of work that has continued to build their fanbase. So is my supposed anger directed to the fanbase? Am I asking to be massacred? I am simply pointing to uneven playing ground that has become our cinema.

Like everything that goes wrong in a democracy eventually gets blamed on the public who put the leaders in power, same with box office collections, which are after all a yardstick of audience acceptance. And like I hate the public who bestow power on undeserving leaders, I hate audiences which make superhits of bad content. But in a democracy, I at least feel I can VOTE to express my individual opinion. What can I do for the movies? Blog? :)